之前的之后！！

2008/11/23 雨天
最近过的舒服，因为找到了酒店。不用再去烦那些无聊的事情，但是，钱就不够用了，不知为何钱会不够用，也许自己花太多了，也许！！昨天做工的时候，做了不该做的事情，然而今天没去上班，有时候，我都会想为什么我存不到钱，真的很后悔小时候没存钱，如今要去走走，玩都是一个问题。
过多两天，她就要回去了，从她的对白中，我觉得她不会再来了，我能做什么呢？我无能，因为我超过预算了。咳！！！只能默默承受她的离别…….假装多好，我只想在拥有一秒，继续等待还是逃…….
看来，今天会好睡也要好好的睡一番，至少我不用去想，不用去烦。 (@.@)

2008/11/28 Rainy day
Last few day really stress, stress about all the assignment. Really pressure work with a team that does not want to care all things, sometimes I really hope that I can do all the assignment but I’m not so good at English. Talk with Indian housemates with English, really hard and uncomfortable. Now a day, all things are English, without English people will look down upon you.
Today really happy, although she did’t talk with me in directly its enough already, because our friendship is still remain average and the important things is she did’t hate me. Leave some comment on her blog, hope she will write something inside but not to delete it….1o1

2008/12/06 sunny day
Unexpected day for me….when I pick up the phone that is calling from my closest buddy. He told me to accompany him to go for a walk because he wants to walk around B.Bintang!! Apart from that, he also want me accompany him to go G.Highlands. It is better to me because this few day I was pressure for my assignment, presentation and personal things.
I did’t too much and I quickly pick up my things and bath for a while then going out. It’s an unexpected day….really….after I reach there, his friend calling him telling he that, she cannot going out because of raining. So we go out to have a drink with some talk. At there, we talk many about our latest cert friend. A while later, I go to his aunt house and type my blog, after blogging I decide to go back home doing assignment. But I’m take a wrong bus to G.Klang…..really damn, have to waste money again, but things started to happen…..
I see many people surround the victim at the scene and starting a fight. I stop at there and go out to see anything I can help but at the moment I also feel so frightened and with some anger that comes from my heart. Why Malay people like to fight, is it their lifestyle and culture, but no one can deny that it is their culture and lifestyle. Really feel pity for the victim, but in any ways really hope one day all Chinese and Indian can be together co-operate to each other then wrack all Malay, amitabha, hope the day comes and not so…..if comes world war three is happening.

之前！！

2008/11/17 雨天
忽然间，觉得很压力，压力是因为学院的功课。这几天想了很久，是否我之前做错了很多事情？很奇怪的事，为什么人做错的时候就不会反省呢？反而会说我们或讲我们，有时候我很不甘心，不甘心为什么有些人错了对都要批评我们，很想问你们错了有为自己着想吗？
我承认我很闷，我很闷是因为我有为自己的将来着想，我不适合在这个时候过平淡的日子，因为我不是有很多的钱，虽然我有钱但不比你们多。有时候觉得世界很不公平，为什么我会遇到这样的遭遇。在佛的观念，我是不是在前世所修来的（因）呢？或者我在制造（因）呢？我有时候都会问自己，我所得到的是否恨知足长乐，无忧无虑，自由自在？
有时候和朋友甚至兄弟分享的时候，我多会给他们好的评语，无消极的答案以及经验。对我来说，如果我给了他们这些想法，他们会否像我这样呢？带着幸福以及快乐的笑容面对朋友，心里其实是很失落的。我甚至给自己写评语，告诉自己也提醒自己，世界上还有些人比我跟无助跟无奈，为什么我会为了小小的事情而烦呢？说了都觉得很好笑。或许我给我自己太大的压力了吧，也许我想太多了吧@@
做了不该做的事情，想了不该想的事情。这不是我的风格也不是我的态度，或许我给我自己太大的压力了吧%%很想说我真的很累了，不想了，但是我能怎么做，有谁能帮助我呢？


2008/11/20 阴天
这几天过的很烦，烦学业，金钱和自己的事情。不知道为什么最近花钱花的太过分，还班费，吃的，喝的以及出街的零用钱。听学院的朋友说，我们的功课被扣分了，真的很伤心也很失望，伤心的事，是为什么我不能做到最好，失望是因为团体的关系，或许我要求的太多了吧！也许我不应该要求太多。
发信息给了（— —），写了很多对不起，觉得自己辜负了她，或许我不该想，或许我的缘分还没到，或许我害怕？刚刚很惊讶，惊讶（— —）打来，从（— —）口气中，觉得（— —）生气了，也对，也好。我无能为力，玩不起！！哈哈……..
顺其自然，跟着时间走，随着心情跑。该不该这样说呢？忽然间觉得自己比任何人越来越远，好像呆在角落，无人帮助，无人指导。听着同样的歌曲，唱着同样的曲子，忽然间很想回到妈妈的怀抱，也很想念妈妈的温馨以及体贴的呵护。
下午的时候，接听朋友的来电，朋友告诉了我，或许他独自的来吉隆破，很期待他的到来也很期待当天的日子。发泄……..这就是我的本性，除了吃，喝，玩，乐，最期待的是酒精的影响。对我来说，醉了什么就不用去想，什么都不用去烦。这就是我的生活，简单，容易以及容易明白。
或许我太天真了！也许我二十岁了但是思想还是停留在十八岁吧！！！

！天使以及魔鬼！

天使在那里？
魔鬼又在那里？

毕竟很多人都相信天使是住在天堂的，而魔鬼是在地狱生活的。但是你们都有想过吗，其实我们的身旁都有天使以及魔鬼。那些天使就像我们的父母，每天都担心我们，指导我们，给我们钱去上学，那么魔鬼呢？魔鬼就像我们的敌人，我们所恨的人，讨厌的人。

你明白了吗？

天使是何方神圣？
魔鬼又是谁呢？

天使是你吗？那当然是。魔鬼还是你吗？那也理所当然。因为你可以选择要像天使一般还是魔鬼那般。都说了选择在你手中，我只是平凡的人。我不能把天上的星星取给你，我也不能把整个宇宙的愿望都给你。

还不明白吗？

简单，容易和容易明白。
天使很难做，魔鬼更加难做。我帮也帮了，说也说了，问也问了。结果勒.........还是一样，我放弃了，真的放弃了，你知道我再说谁吗？

我就是在讲你.........你认为我再说你就说你咯！你认为我在批评你就批评你咯！

（瓦麦敢了）福建@.@

榴莲以及臭豆腐

也许很多人都喜欢吃榴莲以及臭豆腐，也有一些人恨透这一类的食物和水果。

其实很简单，选者在您手中。

榴莲虽然很臭，但是它的肉很甜又好吃，又苦的味道，浓浓的味道。
臭豆腐也一样，虽然它特别的臭，但，它其实是很好吃又带着美妙的感觉。
想要了解它，就地从它们开始，慢慢的了解以及明白。

我虽然不是很伟大，但我对社会有点贡献，贡献在于为社会服务（将来）呵呵！！


今天很累又疲倦，值得的。

去了银行，帮哥哥进钱，就去吃午饭就去上课。很后悔当初中学时期不好好的读书，如今对算得很笨！！T.T

放学了就想快快的回家，走啊走，遇到了她们.......很想跟她们说话的，尤其是（她），但一见面了就无话可说，或许我尴尬吧！！

很想问她最近好吗？没出去玩吗？要跟我们一起去唱歌吗？

当时头脑一片空白，只想快快的回家。哎......真的很失败**

我觉得自己就像留连以及臭豆腐。1o1

.....Presentation....

Today presentation really suck.
Talk about assignment, this is the suck sem for me, didn't done the assignment well and didn't manage the group member well also, specially the assignment.

In reality, i be a bad person that clean all things and all the problem that occur, team member will throw it all to me settle. Maybe i didn't well prepare, my friend have told me to divide the job to each member.....AJS you are right!!!!

Talk about pressure, it is true that, we all finish coursework but the more and dangerous pressure is (FINAL EXAM)

Wish the time can quickly past away and all of us pass all paper with flying colour(NO RESIT)......

Suddenly (S.P) friend calling, inform me that he will come to Kay L next week. Oh my god, how cant, i didn't know where to bring them to go for......haih.....god please don't torture me....(TOLONG,PLEASE,求求你)

By the way, well done all member (JS,SAKAI,QIAN,JAMIE,KENROY,XIANG) although today was not satisfy, in the future we may get the higher marks and no more weakness on our assignment and so on......GAMBATEH....GOOD LUCK....

It's a big big world@@

Having an unhappy feeling today.

Get a cold, tired and sleepy, it's turn worst when your friend fooling around you without your feeling. EI....please la....if i really angry, you might get wrack by me without settle one....so, next time don't disturb me any more. Your attitude are suck, i always ask myself, is this your attitude?

But, in the end, i realise that this is not your attitude. From your presentation, talk and your opinion. You are pretend to be.....

Don't pretend to be, but to follow your style then you would be more happy and good luck. As a human being, we all must learn, learn this, learn that and the most precious thing's is we wiling to act and get the meaning behind the learning.

I didn't comment about you, just the way you done, you hurt somebody without your thought. And that's really suck, when you having a critical moment, people will judge you discriminate you and specially won't help you, because of your attitude.

I'm telling this because i (kena) before, that's why i know how to change the situation at the moment.

Next time must (guai guai) and i will pray for you. (( GOOD LUCK ))

Talk to me!!!

Why people like to comment about people?
Why there is always a misunderstanding?
Why the word is so difficult to understand?
Why? Why? Why? Why?

Actually there's not so hard to understand, just people don't want to recognize their attitude only.
(No one plan to fail,but, Someone fail to plan)
That's why people always think and say but in the end they done nothing, human always like that....

Open minded/Close minded?
There's no point, telling people are we close minded or open minded?
Just the way we think and feel. When we think we close minded/open minded we may get an easy and comfortable to our self, because that is our lifestyle.

Don't ever listen to people thought, people speech and specially people opinion, we may get influence by them otherwise we will be a murderer in their heart, because we shoot them with uneasy word........

Try to console yourself with positive thought and not to face/touch the negative one. Sometimes share with people/friend/family, we may feel relieve and relax, because we pour out the bad things from us.....In future we may know how to solute the problem without any problem occur......####Good Luck####

Shitty day ($.$)

Going to Genting Highlands gambling,starting win about 400$,but after a while....lose about 800$ more.



Curiosity kill the cat......this is why I'm do.Thought gambling can win but in the end lose money and head ache about the problem that occur...



天啊！！！



以后都不敢了，还不怕黑吗？



以后要去玩，可以，出来社会时比较好，因为有多余的钱可以花嘛@.@

its been a while....

One month pass already, its time to upgrade my blog.

Seriously, this last few weeks, i had a worst and hard moment.Facing the assignment that tutor give, group discussion with team member and specially typing English.Don't know why this semester really hate assignment, maybe I'm too lazy.

Other things that happen to me is, my housemates had an accident near wangsa maju.Really feel pity for him,that time i realize why parent will scold you when you are having something unexpected....like fighting, had an accident and specially something unexpected thing happen.I'm very happy that day didn't scold him,if i really scold,i would scold him for drive so fast till accident but it the end i console him not to worries about my bike.

The other things that i gain is our friendship......really happy because we are all together when something is happen, in the future please don't happen any more.

Apart from that, our course tutor class have controversy with each other......the controversy is who hate who? who don't like who? This controversy also include me as well.....I'm Innocent one...

Yesterday, a suck day to me!!! It is 1st time all sit together to eat at "mamak" stall....really weird and bring some excited feeling. why suck? suck because we all disturb a girl, i feel really shame but in the end, i learn something something about girl feeling.Actually the girl is happy....1o1....

Next few day may have a lot of things to write......

Ending!!!!!!

Life didn't go well,there are some times we hard to make a decision even though we try our best to change our attitude.


Why?

A closest buddy tell me many things about lifestyle.There are sometimes we must stand for our right and sometimes we must not and shouldn't stand for our right.When we stand for our right we might/may get hurt some people even though our friend and family.

Having a hard decision to make this few day.......Don't know what should i do and what should i don't do.

Maybe i think too much....maybe i make my lifestyle to be difficult/hard.

Forgetful is human enemy,human always say what to do but in the end,human always fail to finish up something.....just like i...(nobody plan to fail...but somebody fail to plan!!!!)
Now i really confuse,i need some help......want a friend to help me and social with me,and mostly give me some advice.

This few day must think, think what have i done previously and in the future.

Am i going to change? Maybe!
Am i going to be same? Impossible!
Am i going to be kind hearted? Yes!

Now onwards, i will try to make my life to be as much as easier and specially to be more mature in the future!!

What will i do in the future? Still thinking!
What will i plan in the future? No more childish!
What will i wish for? I don't want to be sucker!

Today an appreciate day for me,i appreciate that my buddy give me some comment about myself.Therefore in the coming days,weeks,month and year, i wont disappointed you again.I will prove to you and myself that i am mature and more appreciates! @@

This is the ending......
I will rest for 1 month.....finding some laughing scene,happy scene and specially change myself to be more mature!!!

%THANK YOU%

Tension.......

worst day of my life......although i move to other place but i still miss CK,GUAN,JOE,VINC,MING and some friend there,why i say that because I'm a human and i have a feeling too.Stay at TBR, really suck because my room so so so and so hot.Want to go back my home town then get the air conditioner to here.....1o1

Yesterday, go out with someone......celebrate birthday with her, from her talk and some expression that she show.....oh my god, she fall in love with me###

Really tension and confuse?Should i??

Wake up early in the morning, going to work although feel so tired but what to do......money,money and money......this is reality.....when burn out of money,its time to think and find where to get the money.

Don't know what bullshit i type now......tension@@@@@@@@@@

Misunderstanding!!!!

Time to times, day to days.......just few like want to rest my whole life because this few day i did not get a well sleep due to party that held at my house. Actually my course mates tell me to join him at Taman Bunga Raya house there but i cannot due to some reason, reason why i cannot is i burn out my money already, move to there no fun and entertainment and last but not least is i try to be with the environment that i live just now.

So shock, when i just wake up from bed and see a girl sending me a message, from me, i thought i the one who annoying she, because she did not stated who annoy she, i think too much already. If she state the person, the person may get a shame, that may included me. I don't to be so famous, because i too famous already.....1o1.....

Some times i really confuse about a girl, may be i did not love some one or i did not try love before but who care? Love/Like a person but no gut to tell her....then a misunderstand occur and the distances to be friend becomes far.

Having a practical at kitchen really fun, same group with a friend that i like so much but please don't be emo always. No people in this world is worth 100%, but we must figured it out either we want it to be 100% or not. Starting next week, i may go to the lecturer, tutorial and practical class every day, its time for me to be hardworking for my future. May god bless me.....

By the way, the sauces that i taste just now, actually the colour is very nice but the taste still OK and good luck all of us.......go go fighting team@@

最后的祝福@@

真的不想了，累了。

以后都不烦您了，对不起，谢谢您！！！

也许她不适合我吧@@
或许她不能接受我吧@@

有时候我都会安慰自己，告诉我自己，我们的缘分还没到吧！
对我来说，要我说（我爱你）愿意跟我交往吗？，是一件很难的事情，因为我不相信爱情是永恒的，因为我们还很年轻，我们永远都不清楚什么是爱情。
天天看到她，却什么都说不出，很想问她，最近还好吗？最近在做些什么？要出去走走吗？

从她的部落格，让我明白了一些事情，让我慢慢的了解她，其实她不是野蛮的女孩，她只是假装，扮演另外的角色，她很怕寂寞的，很怕一个人的，如果不是，那么我就无话可说了！！虽然了解了她，我却什么都做不成！！或许我想太多了！！最后的祝福。

祝福您：天天幸福，青春美丽，学业进步，出入平安，遇到贵人，小人走远远，找到您的另外一半（JE VOUS AIME）

刚刚听了不想听的事情，也许他骗我吧？

他说（** **）说我的事情给他听，关于钱的问题。真的吗？我不想知道，因为，我相信（** **），但是相信（** **），有什么用，（** **）会相信我吗？或许我想太多了吧！！！

伤心的心情带着低落的感觉！！！！

T.T

Help@@

Desperate........that's how i feel,when i see the result.It is true that when you skip class you did not get any thing,by the way you will fail for your paper.This few day i cant even get a well sleep,because my roommates disturb me by watching the drama and listening to music.

I get back stab by my closest buddy,cant even get sleep well and think to much for my result.Fortunately i pass 3 paper and fail 3 paper,that is(Economy)(Hospitality Industry)(French).......gosh....

what the hell is going on?

why i can fail the french paper,as i know i can get an C for it,sick that i have to do a revision for the french.

Yesterday chat with a girl by using a cell phone, really happy when chatting with her,she scolded me because of my playfulness and childish.( Did i look like childish?)

As i know,that is not important if the people judge you by a 1st impression, people should judge you by inner not by look!!Father did not scold me for my failed paper,father just ask why i can fail and did i pay an attention during class?(difficult to answer when i hear this question)

Good luck for me in the future and quickly pass the resit paper.

虽然如此！！！

这几天无法睡觉，凌晨五六点才能入睡。妈呀............我不想变成熊猫@@

住家的朋友，全部都看戏，打游戏机以及听歌。这样的日子几时才能结束？几时才会有好日子？有时侯我能配合他们，但，有时也要人配合我的，哇靠！！！！几时才会好好过日子@@

为了一些人好，人家就以为我们在做戏，人会说我们（猫哭老鼠假慈悲）如今的世界变了，变得很自私，很迷糊。有时候我都会问我自己，为什么我会变到如此，变得冷血，变得自私，残忍。

这些事是谁害的？我能说自己吗？ 不能，因为我都做错了全部事情...........

看了一个女孩的部落格，觉得很好笑，虽然他说的话有时是对的，但是，有时候我们要会为人家想，在这个世界里，不是每个人都能满足我们的要求。（人在做，天在看）这就是我所学到的，但是，如今，我不相信了，因为，我开始慢慢，慢慢的笑着人生。

有时候放松自己，就等于在帮自己。= 有时候接受人家，就等于在接受自己

超越别人之前，就得超越自己。

say goodbye@@

早上七点醒来，准备心情去学院。哇靠@@
这就是人生吗？天啊！！！！！！感觉像坐监牢一样。学院生就是犯人，教授就像检讨官，最后，校长等于法官.........^_^

放下所有的心情，带着压力的思考，开始读书的旅程。

拿了厨师服装，接着就回家去了，虽然有点懒的感觉，但是，还是要完成学业，接着就出来工作。听着男人ktv的歌曲，感觉真的很舒服，虽然这首歌带着悲伤的曲风，最终，这首歌说出了男人的心情。

o(∩_∩)o...哈哈

犹豫！！

开学的第一天就没去，哇靠！！ 贪玩！！贪开心！！这就是我。

本来不想去的，因为今天早上四点才睡，可以说我敏感吧！ 过于敏感的我，大概一点就醒来了，想了五分，就和家里的朋友去唱歌，发泄！！@@ o(∩_∩)o...哈哈

超开心的！！超兴奋的！！

很久没唱歌的我，忽然间变得像歌星，虽然开头唱得不好也害羞，但是最后都掌握了一点点。边唱歌，边想学院的事情，哎.........人生就是这样的嘛！！昨天哥哥和他的女朋友来找我，边吃边聊，哥哥悄悄地告诉我，妈妈和爸爸或许来吉隆坡，最终目的是去云顶，哇靠！！！@@我最终可以上赌场了，或许吧@@因为还没到二十一岁。

忽然间觉得很累##我要早睡早醒，因为明天的课太早了。先去冲凉然后吃点东西过后就去睡觉！！ ^^安安^^

荧光屏总是闪烁不定！！！

前几天，和家乡的朋友聊了很多，有爱情的，友情的，亲情的，关于自己的，以及未来的。聊了很久，虽然我喝着酒，但是脑，还是清醒的，慢慢的分析，慢慢的考虑，他的烦恼和他的忧郁。平时不多说的我，忽然间我也不认得我了。o(∩_∩)o...哈哈

也许他说得对，也许我没有定义，也许吧！

有谁会牺牲自己为了别人？ 我也不例外，因为我也是人。

如果有了爱情，我会把多余的时间和另外一半，陪她。
如果有了亲情，我会陪我自己的家人多过朋友，呵护家人。
如果有了未来，我会为我的将来，未来，牺牲自己身边的所有一切。

但是我有吗？ 我有！！

这几天想了很久，很久 @@ 我知道我要什么了，就这样牵住放不开。

昨天和朋友去逛街，虽然不舒服，但是很值得，因为我学了很多。戴着隐形眼镜有配耳环，不像平时的我，忽然间，觉得我在改变着。

晚上的时候，吉打的朋友来电，听他说，他发生意外了，撞车.................他的手虽然断了，现在慢慢的回复状态。就象我，虽然好了，但是出不到力。

再过几天，摩托老婆回来了，很怀念，这次我不会让她再受伤了。 我会照顾她！！！！！！
再过几天，我就开课了，这时候，我要努力，奋斗以及加油，为我的未来以及将来。


庆！！

无所事事！！

上课的前一个礼拜，吃喝玩乐，日子就这样过了。

天天过着无忧无虑的日子，幻想，做梦，就这样，时间慢慢的过去，现在才后悔。



我有吗？你呢？



对我来说，过去就是过去，但是，要怎样才能把它从记忆里弄消失！！

人生的路程永远都有记忆陪伴，没有了记忆，人永远都会失去方向。因为我们每做一个事情，记忆都会提醒我们做得怎样，之前学的，是时候奉献吗？



我们永远都学不会，因为我们需要的就是，超越你。那么，我们会一直一直的，不停不停的找方法，最重要的是，把事情解决。不需要记忆来提醒，不需要记忆的帮忙。

这首歌，呈献给所有人。

超越自己前，先打败自己。打败自己的固执，了解自己，那么，我们就能焕然一新。那个时候，我们就是赢的玩家，主角，演员。

开心一时！！

2008/10/07 晴天 XD

出去玩，无所事事的，觉得人生无趣！

我兜了一圈，搬家搬不成。七楼的朋友不搬走，我就没地方睡。找了很多屋子，看了很多屋子还是没兴趣！还是在老地方，同一间家。

去了朋友家，玩到很累也很辛苦。和朋友聊了很多，原来女子是这样的特别！！！我们男孩永远都想不到女子需要什么的！

听干弟弟说，朋友给人家打，哇靠！

为什么社会还是这样的复杂？

这个礼拜没去学院，不想去，虽然开课了，学生还是那么的少。读书的时候就努力了！哈哈哈